Home and Belonging
Listen now to my debut album, Home and Belonging. All songs written by Kenny Lee Helyer. Produced by Tony Dean at Tiny Dream studios.
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Kenny Lee Helyer - vocals, guitars and songwriting on all tracks and sporadic harmonica, mandolin and keyboard
Tony Dean - drums, bass and production on all tracks, with keyboard contributions here and there
Cecelia Helyer - backing vocals on most tracks, and flute on a few
Dominique Baker - keyboards on Kiss Him as He Sleeps and Settled Feeling
Juci Rubiato - backing vocals on Settled Feeling, Thirst and Love in Another Way
Julie Helyer - cover art
Lyrics
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An orphan child, a family of five,
Such different beginnings to their lives.
Uniformed, like the other marines,
And she wore a dress that went down to her knees.Struck by her beauty, he asked her to dance,
She found comfort in his voice, the touch of gentle hands.
Courting at the movies, taking trips to the coast.
Fortunate to marry, the one they love the most.Six decades of times hard and easy,
But it stayed strong, that unchanging feeling.
Sweet silent talks, "I love you" with a look,
To think it could be gone, it hurts so much.In her darkest hours, she dreads the day,
When he no longer knows her face or her name.
She'll remember for two and kiss him as he sleeps,
So he won't be confused by the love that she feels.It began with subtle changes, forgetting little things,
Both said it was his old age, just what the years bring.
As symptoms got worse, the fear made them deny,
To think she'd lose her husband, before his body died.Control of emotions, thrown to the wind,
Anger without reason, he knows and he cries.
There's still fleeting moments, she lives in wait,
For signs of who he was, in those long gone days.In her darkest hours, she dreads the day,
When he no longer knows her face or her name.
She'll remember for two and kiss him as he sleeps,
So he won't be confused by the love that she feels. -
Voices echoed, an empty house,
Decorated by our sounds.
Worldly goods they fill the space,
Now a theatre, our lives the play.Letters lying together like lovers,
Bookcase holding our books like a mother.
Messy sheets from loving nights,
Like tired dancers in the morning light.Hot chocolate with a dash of brandy.
Trees planted, tended by four hands.
Painting flowers on the ceiling.
Home, home that settled feeling.The dinner table knows so much,
Joyous talk, tears on wood.
If it could speak or take a pen,
It’d tell our saga like our closest friend.Hot chocolate with a dash of brandy.
Trees planted, tended by four hands.
Painting flowers on the ceiling.
Home, home that settled feeling.Who lived here, before we came?
I wanna hear, all their names.
And who will come, when we go?
And walk these floors that we love and know.Who lived here, before we came?
I wanna hear, all their names.
And who will come, when we go?
And walk these floors that we love and know.Hot chocolate with a dash of brandy.
Trees planted, tended by four hands.
Painting flowers on the ceiling.
Home, home that settled feeling.
That settled feeling.
That settled feeling.
That settled feeling -
With my pipe I blow the molten balloon,
The surface dances like the ocean in a storm.
My lungs control the air as it gently shapes the form,
Bottle, jar or sculpture, what will this become?For a handful of coins,
You can buy what you choose.But many days or years from now,
Those pretty things will crack somehow,
And a whisper of my breath will leave each one,
Freed to join the wind and return to my lungs.With my pipe I play a silent song,
Composing with each breath the thing it will become.
I never mix in colours, the clear is what I want,
Like the first ice of winter or a hidden mountain pond.For a handful of coins,
You can buy what you please.But many days or years from now,
Those pretty things will crack somehow,
And a whisper of my breath will leave each one,
Freed to join the wind and return to my lungs.I have a secret underneath my house,
An enchanted crystal city born from my mouth.
I built it on Sundays over many years,
Playing at being a god, while the others went to church.Many days or years from now,
Those pretty things will crack somehow,
And a whisper of my breath will leave each one,
Freed to join the wind and return to my lungs.
Freed to join the wind and return to my lungs. -
Five or so years ago,
I camped on the isle of K'gari.
Six nights, five friends,
At the start of January.Sleeping and waking with the sun,
Walking the trails where the cars don't come,
Sounds dulled by the endless sand,
I felt so calm on that peaceful land.Forests of satinay and brush box too,
I'd never seen a taller tree.
How do they grow so, from the sand,
And show such strength and stability?Sleeping and waking with the sun,
Walking the trails where the cars don't come,
Sounds dulled by the endless sand,
I felt so calm on that peaceful land.I've parted ways, with some of those friends.
Life has changed, I'm not who I was back then but,
I feel the pull, I want to return,
Revisit that place, to see what I learn.Sleeping and waking with the sun,
Walking the trails where the cars don't come,
Sounds dulled by the endless sand,
I felt so calm on that peaceful land. -
I looked into your button eyes,
Green on the left and red on the right.
A loose thread looked like a tear down your cheek,
But your fixed smile, it reassured me.That same old dress you've always worn,
It suits you well you're fit for a princess ball.
They picked farmer's rags to sew me in,
I wish I had a suit to meet you in.I'd tear this old flower from off my chest,
To give to you but you deserve the best.
No lids to close and break this gaze,
No brain, no heart, we feel love in another way.Well you've got stitches and you've got stains,
I kiss each one to heal your pain.
Foolish children never knew your worth,
My cotton grip protects you from hurt.They've moved us now, forgotten in the loft,
Our honeymoon amongst the junk and the rot.
We'll be by ourselves for the rest of our days,
Till they clear stuff out and throw us away.I'd tear this old flower from off my chest,
To give to you but you deserve the best.
No lids to close and break this gaze,
No brain, no heart, we feel love in another way.
No brain, no heart, we feel love in another way.
No brain, no heart, we feel love in another way.
No brain, no heart, we feel love in another way. -
Years of learning,
How to help and heal.
Now you're earning,
Working in your chosen field.All you've planted,
Begins to grow.
Confident in,
What you know.And you shine firefly,
With that passion in your eyes.
Yes you shine firefly,
I feel your glow at your side.Always reading,
Finding something new.
Slowly building,
The circle of people coming to you.All you've planted,
Begins to grow.
Confident in,
What you know.And you shine firefly,
With that passion in your eyes.
Yes you shine firefly,
I feel your glow at your side.You light my cave.
You light my cave.And you shine firefly,
With that passion in your eyes.
Yes you shine firefly,
I feel your glow at your side. -
Loving smiles,
Wait for my voice.
We trade signs,
To share our joy.I listen hard,
To your kind words,
And point to pictures,
As I learn.Two ears, one mouth,
You know all my sounds.One day I hope,
I can repay your patience,
I'll say your names with love,
To break my silence.Clapping with delight,
You play my favourite song,
Then leave space to talk,
And encourage me on.Two ears, one mouth,
You know all my sounds.One day I hope,
I can repay your patience,
I'll say your names with love,
To break my silence.Can you feel my love,
Though you cannot hear it?
However much I want to,
I may never speak it.And you won't give up,
Even if I ask,
Though your gentle hopes,
May never come to pass.One day I hope,
I can repay your patience,
I'll say your names with love,
To break my silence.
To break my silence.
To break my silence. -
Some people are like trees,
Rooted where they grow,
Watered, fed and happy,
Smiling till they're old.I'm a tumbleweed of sorts,
Never found my home,
On and on I roll,
Through the woods of everyone.I want to be like a snail,
With a house upon my back,
Live wherever I want,
Till my shell starts to crack.To be a tree or to be a bird,
To stay at home or to see the world,
Family ties or the open sky,
To find yourself is a lonely ride.To be a tree or to be a bird,
To stay at home or to see the world,
Family ties or the open sky,
To free yourself is a lonely ride.The story's always the same,
They want one with my name,
Settle down, stick around,
Words to clip my wings,From those afraid to fly,
A hint of green in their eye,
But they're unafraid to stay,
A different kind of brave.I want to be like a spider,
Put a web where I choose,
Then wander on my eight legs,
To find somewhere new.To be a tree or to be a bird,
To stay at home or to see the world,
Family ties or the open sky,
To find yourself is a lonely ride.To be a tree or to be a bird,
To stay at home or to see the world,
Family ties or the open sky,
To free yourself is a lonely ride. -
There's a painting of you on the wall in my mind,
Thoughts gather round, confused all the time.
Eyes brown and resonant like piano wood.
I've forgotten their music though I know it was good.Anonymous sadness I'm trying to name,
It happened by itself, there's no one to blame,
Because you are you and I am me,
We crossed paths by coincidence, you were always going to leave.Gaze warm, tears fall, farewell.
Last kiss, soft lips, farewell.
Long hold, let go, farewell.Ninety nights sleep, ninety dreams,
To measure our season, like the weather love changed.
Memories like stones, the shiny and the rough,
Can be a heavy load but I'll never have enough.Gaze warm, tears fall, farewell.
Last kiss, soft lips, farewell.
Long hold, let go, farewell.A place of peace, a place of loneliness.
The healing leaf looks like the poisonous.
Broken pieces form a pattern beautiful and new.
The edges are sharp now, in time they'll smooth. -
Drought has baked our land for ten long years,
We smell and taste and see the dusty air.
Brown and dirty clouds ride on the wind,
There's a dark and deadly thirst everywhere.Those who could have moved far away,
It gets more like a ghost town every day.
The colour green is mourned like a comrade lost in battle,
We must be crazy or desperate to stay.One drop like a hammer broke my sleep,
Then the roof came alive with a thousand dancing feet.Pour, pour some more, quench the thirst, quench the thirst.
Brown, brown to green, dust to mud, Earth's lifeblood.
Drown, drown our sorrow, end the hurt, quench the thirst.The cracked old ditch we used to call a stream,
Is full and flowing, awakened from its dream.
Lightning flashes like a camera at the change,
Before the sun takes back the water, making steam.The smell of rain through the window so sweet,
I was laughing like a child as the puddles filled up deep.Pour, pour some more, quench the thirst, quench the thirst.
Brown, brown to green, dust to mud, Earth's lifeblood.
Drown, drown our sorrow, end the hurt, quench the thirst.We know that sometime soon, the rain it will leave,
Like a cold and heartless lover, we have foolishly believed,
The hope that broke despair, was it torture or relief?
The hope that broke despair, was it torture or relief?Pour, pour some more, quench the thirst, quench the thirst.
Brown, brown to green, dust to mud, Earth's lifeblood.
Drown, drown our sorrow, end the hurt, end the hurt.
Quench the thirst.
Quench the thirst.
Quench the thirst.
Quench the thirst.
Quench the thirst.
Quench the thirst. -
At school I got somehow left behind,
At 42 I'm trying again to read and write.
I was afraid as I walked into the library,
Full of stubborn books that wouldn't speak to me.I trace the lines with my finger,
Mouthing out each of the words,
And now the books they start to whisper,
Revealing their secrets here and there.Word by word,
Day by day,
Page by page,
Brave so brave.I've kept this to myself through shame,
I feel stupid reading children's books again,
But I'm determined to follow through this time,
With a shaking pen and hand and I write.I trace the lines with my finger,
Mouthing out each of the words,
And now the books they start to whisper,
Revealing their secrets here and there.Word by word,
Day by day,
Page by page,
Brave so brave.Reading my mail, a poem, novels, the paper.
Writing a form, application, a story, love letter.
A B C you are the key,
A B C set me free.Reading my mail, a poem, novels, the paper.
Writing a form, application, a story, love letter.
A B C you are the key,
A B C set me free.
Set me free.
Set me free.
Set me free.Word by word,
Day by day,
Page by page,
Brave so brave. -
Your Jewish-German family,
Were forced to hide away,
In the annex of a factory,
For seven hundred days.You kept a detailed record
And gave it a name,
And spoke like a friend,
To every single page.Old food, teenage love,
Your subjects studied, you shared it all.
Shut away, you kept faith,
If it was me I'd have gone insane.Just a little girl,
Cut off from the world,
You'll never know how close you came,
To being free once again.I wonder who told,
The Gestapo where you were,
And could they be so cold,
If they'd read your words.Typhus, mass grave,
Only your father was saved.
He went back to that place,
And got to know you too lateI'm glad he shared your story,
I think that you'd approve.
You'd have been a great writer,
Your talent shines through.So many hopes and dreams,
That weren't realised,
I feel I got close to you,
It hurts me how you died.Deep thoughts in fine prose,
If only Hitler had read those.
Six million dead folks,
The pain captured by one ghost.